70 ways to say I love you in Japanese & share your true feelings

Do you love a Japanese person and tell them so in their language? Excellent! This article guides someone sweet like you through the delicate business of the Japanese love language.

“We don’t really say ‘I love you’ in Japanese, do we?” I asked my Japanese friends. “No, not really”, said everyone I’d asked. There are equivalent phrases in Japanese, and you see and hear them a lot in films, TV shows, books, or anime. But those are not part of our everyday language.

Then how do Japanese people express love? And how would YOU tell your beloved Japanese person you love them?

Rest assured; in this post, you’ll learn the cultural context and some useful phrases so your words won't be taken as inappropriate or over the top.

Table of contents

• Keep these in mind when using the Japanese love language
  • Status matters: polite and casual expressions
  • Love expression in the Japanese culture
  • Media vs reality
• How to say I love you in Japanese
  • The basics
  • Seriously, romantically, “I love you.”
  • Confessing love
  • How to say I like you in Japanese
  • You make me feel…
  • Will you marry me?
• Japanese love songs
• Love quotes / proverbs

Keep these in mind when using the Japanese love language

Status matters: polite and casual expressions

Whenever you speak Japanese, the relationship between you and the person/people you talk to determines the type of language you use. You’re expected to use polite language if the person has a higher status, is a stranger, or is not close to you. With your peers or people who are younger than you, casual language would sound natural. This rule applies to the Japanese love language, too.

For instance, to your teacher, senior coworker, or parent-in-law, it's recommended to use polite language. People may use polite language to show their seriousness, regardless of the status of the listener.

There are several ways to address ‘you’ in Japanese. Here are the basic ones;

君 (きみ - kimi)
This can be used only to call someone who is your peer or has lower status than you.

あなた (あなた - anata)
This is a polite word used to call someone who is older than you, has higher status than you, or is a stranger or unfamiliar to you.

As we’re exploring intimate language, the person’s name would sound more natural than the pronouns like ‘君’ or ‘あなた’.

Love expression in the Japanese culture

In general, Japanese people don’t verbally express their love much. It’s part of the ‘read between the lines’ culture, in which people think they’re showing love through their actions. (It can be incredibly subtle!) It may be something that shows their loyalty or kindness rather than affectionate gestures. You might’ve heard that public displays of affection are commonly not well-received in Japan, too.

This means the love language can be immensely special. If you whisper words of adoration into the ear of your Japanese love, they may respond by a) swooning, b) giggling (out of shyness, awkwardness, or thinking you’re too dramatic), or c) looking upset. It really depends on the person and the relationship between you and them.

How would you have your genuine feelings understood then?

Be yourself. Just choose your words carefully. Closely watch the reaction. If they are smiling yet look as if they have no clue what to say, it’s always good to ask how they feel. Wouldn’t it be beautiful to explore the love language you both feel comfortable with and cherish?

Media vs reality

I have a bunch of non-Japanese friends who are learning or have learned Japanese through manga and anime. It’s a fun way to study, but no matter how realistic the show seems, the characters' lines may sound theatrical or inauthentic. Often there’s a HUMONGOUS gap between everyday Japanese and media Japanese.

Translations are not always accurate, either. (AI has a long way to go to reach a decent level in this regard.) Or the translation makes sense only in the specific context. The wonder of the super-high-contextual language, that is.

It’s safe to ask your Japanese teacher or friends what the expression sounds like when it comes from you. Or if you’ve already built some trust between the Japanese person you love, just try it out and see how it goes! If it wasn’t received well, clarify that you picked the line from a show and ask for feedback. Who wouldn’t admire people aspiring to learn?

How to say I love you in Japanese

Alrightie. Let’s look at some useful phrases!

The basics

These are the basic Japanese expressions for “I love you”.

* Romaji: Character that represents written Japanese using the English alphabet

‘愛’ (あい - ai) literally means ‘love’ and is considered a big word. The first two phrases are rarely used in everyday conversation as they sound massively serious. If you’re indeed serious and want to stress it’s ‘love’, not just ‘like’, then go for these expressions.

‘好き’ (すき suki) means ‘like’, and the Japanese use this word more when expressing love. When someone says ‘大好き’ (だいすき - daisuki), it usually means they love someone or something, though it may or may not indicate romantic feelings.

Is ‘好き’ alone enough to show your love? It depends on the context and your non-verbal expressions. If you look someone in the eye so devotedly and say “好きだよ” — it might make their heart pound.

‘よ’ (yo) comes at the end of a phrase in a casual expression. It indicates you’re pretty sure about what you’re saying and that you’re really talking to the person.

Both ‘君’ (きみ - kimi) and ‘あなた’ (anata) are often omitted because it’s clear that you’re talking to this person and nobody else. Not leaving out the words in the brackets in the table would add a bit more formality.

Seriously, romantically, “I love you.”

Phrases with ‘愛’ can be perceived as dramatic, and ‘好き’ can sound like casual ‘like’. But these below would unmistakably show that you love the person in all seriousness.

Confessing love

‘Love confession’ is one of the unique aspects of the Japanese relationship culture. While the Japanese typically don't articulate their affection, it's common that they confess their love and confirm each other's feelings before officially starting a relationship.

How to say I like you in Japanese

How do you say when you like someone but it’s not love (yet)? Or you don't mean anything romantic? I imagine it can be a difficult question in any culture. Someone says you’re cute, and you might think it’s just a compliment or they have a crush on you. Someone asks you out for dinner, and it might be a date, or they simply want to hang out with you. We need a communication class AND a language lesson, don't we?

Anyway, here’s a tip; when you mean non-romantic affection with the word ‘好き’, you should be crystal clear about your intention. You might say ‘好き’ to your pal, thinking they’re a good friend, and they start behaving rather awkwardly since then… One way to avoid that kind of situation is to use different words that describe your feelings more specifically. Clarifying your intention helps, too.

Look at the table below — you’ve already seen the first four phrases in the basic 'I love you' section. Is it love or like? It depends on the narrative, context, relationship, or how you say it.

You make me feel…

How do you know you’re in love? These feelings may be the indicator.

Will you marry me?

You're 100% positive that you'll love that person through the peaks and valleys of life. When you propose, forget the fact that Japanese people are reserved about love expressions. Focus on what makes your partner happy. Be sincere, be you. Good luck, my friend.

Japanese love songs

Love is a universal theme in music. Even the Japanese who don’t feel comfortable vocal about love may sing, “あいしてる” (Aishiteru).

Here are some Japanese love songs popular among a wide range of generations. If you sang your heart out and noticed your audience looking overwhelmed, just smile at them, "It’s a great song, isn’t it?”

• やさしさで溢れるように (Yasashisa de afureru youni) by JUJU
  The title translates, 'I wish everything that surrounds you overflows with kindness.' Love makes you strong and determined.
• 君が好き (Kimi ga suki) by Mr. Children
  When you love someone, and nothing else matters.
• 歌うたいのバラッド (Utautai no baraddo) by 斉藤正義 (Saito Masayoshi)
  This ‘Singer’s Ballad’ tells you how difficult it can be to say, “I love you” even when you’re deeply in love.

Love quotes / proverbs

Wise men and women said...

All you need is love… and communication.

No matter how you express your love, people will probably get you if they know that's your natural way. In addition to learning how to say I love you in Japanese, investing in communication to learn about each other helps you achieve your goal — whether it's to let people know you love them or to be reciprocated.

There is no single answer to how you should address love in Japanese 'correctly'. Keep exploring. And don't be discouraged by the subtlety of Japanese communication manners.

Continue learning Japanese vocabulary on our Japanese blog.